Man on a Mission
by Return of the Thief
Summary: Ryo plans to woo Rika the only way he knows how... by playing a children's card game. Luckily, Rika has the ability to break the fourth wall - and the plot - which should protect her. Right?


"Rika."

Renamon appeared behind her Tamer, silent as a ghost, graceful as an ocelot, deadly as full grown grizzly bear. Rika Nonaka jumped nearly a foot in the air.

"Holy shit!" she said, startled, spinning around. Renamon arched an eyebrow. Or the digital equivalent of one, anyway, due to her lack of an eyebrow appendage. Rika scuffed her feet in embarrassment. "Sorry, I just forgot – it's been awhile – you were gone for a long time –!"

"Ryo Akiyama is waiting outside," Renamon said, smoothly interrupting to help her partner save face.

"Are you serious?" Rika asked after a moment, stifling a groan.

"Dead serious," Renamon said. Rika really did groan at that.

"I guess I'll go see what he wants," she muttered, already feeling the beginnings of a headache. She stomped out of her room to the front door, which she flung open, expression grumpy. Ryo's smiling face did nothing to soothe her temper.

"Hey, wildcat –?"

"What are you doing here?" Rika snapped. Ryo blinked, seeming confused.

"Well… I was in the neighborhood…" he began lamely. Rika was not impressed.

"Don't you live in Kyushu?" she asked. Ryo gave her a blank look.

"What the hell is Kyushu?" Rika facepalmed.

_I live in a world of idiots, _she thought. _Then again, this is fan fiction. _

"Whatever. Where's Cyberdramon? I really don't want him destroying the house or anything else potentially inconvenient."

"Who?" Ryo asked with a blink of his blue eyes. Rika snorted.

_The author forgot about Monodramon. Good thing I can break the plot, or Renamon would've gotten the same treatment._

"What do you want, Ryo?" Rika asked, resigned to her fate. Ryo's expression cleared and he grinned a sexy grin.

_No! Must… resist… the power of plot, _Rika thought frantically.

"Well, I was thinking…"

"Uh oh," Rika deadpanned.

"Ha ha. Anyway, I was thinking about how you didn't like me. And to put it bluntly, that doesn't happen often. So I wanted to ask you, why?" He gave her a sappy look. Rika sighed.

"There are many reasons, the main one being that you have about as much personality as a brick wall," Rika said irately.

"Not true!" Ryo protested, offended. "I'm a total badass in the WonderSwan games! At least, I think I am. I don't understand Japanese, so it's hard to be sure."

"Ryo," Rika said slowly. "You _are _Japanese. We live in _Japan_." Ryo laughed.

"Oh, wildcat, don't be so naïve." Rika banged her head against the doorframe in her frustration. Meanwhile, Ryo stood there with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Hey, pumpkin, where was I?"

"Why I don't like you," was the indistinct reply. Ryo brightened.

"Oh yeah! Anyway, I was thinking, to bridge the gap between us, we could play… a children's card game!" His deck mysteriously appeared in his hand, which he flourished in Rika's direction. Rika pulled away from the doorframe to give Ryo an incredulous look.

"You did not just quote Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series," she said. Ryo seemed rightfully sheepish.

"… So what if I did?"

"That's like sleeping with the enemy! An attractive enemy, but an enemy nonetheless!" Rika exclaimed.

"But it's funny," Ryo muttered, petulant.

"But its Yu-Gi-Oh," Rika said, equally stubborn.

"Does this mean you don't want a re-match?" he asked.

"… Get in." Ryo eagerly complied, more than happy to get escape the cold evening air.

"Anyone else home?" he asked, looking around with pointed interest. Rika debated answering for a moment.

"My Grandma," she said, which was technically true, although the elderly woman was glued to the computer and drugged up on old people medication. Her mother was at a late night photo shoot.

_If he tries anything, I'll have Renamon tear him apart, _Rika thought.

"Cool," Ryo said as she guided him to the living room. Rika wondered if he meant it the way she thought he did. Then Ryo winked. Briefly, Rika contemplated punching him in the face, before deciding that it wasn't worth it. Yet.

"I'll go get my deck. Stay here." Rika turned to go. Paused. Turned back. "Stay. Here."

"Yeah, I heard you," Ryo said, annoyed. "I'm not deaf." Rika ignored that. Moments later she was back, regarding the boy suspiciously. He smiled at her, the epitome of innocence.

"Right, let's do this. You're going down, Akiyama," Rika said, taking a seat on the opposite end of the table. The next twenty minutes or so passed in intense yet vaguely described silence, as the author didn't have a clue how to play the actual card game. Just know that it was a very close match, which is all that matters.

"You know," Ryo said, "I could win right now."

"Very funny," Rika said blandly.

"If you want, I could let you win," Ryo suggested.

"Are you stupid?" Rika demanded. Ryo shrugged.

"Meh, you're right. I prefer winning to plot progression anyway." Then he won. Rika gaped.

"Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?" she said, before clapping her hands over her mouth.

"You hypocrite!" Ryo said, aggrieved. "And you didn't even finish the quote! Blasphemy!"

"I – you –" Rika froze as something occurred to her. Ryo hadn't let her win, which normally would've happened in a clichéd plot line. And this whole time…

"You've been breaking the fourth wall! And the plot! I'm supposed to be the only one who can do that, it says so in the summary!" Rika exclaimed. She wondered how she hadn't noticed early. Had the plot pulled a fast one on her when she wasn't paying attention? Ryo tosses his head.

"Bitch, please," he said. "I'm Ryo frickin' Akiyama. Screw the plot, I have perfect hair!"

"Then… this whole time… you've been playing dumb?" Rika asked, deciding to ignore that last line.

"Well, yeah," Ryo said.

"Why?" Rika asked, eye twitching.

"I dunno. Cuz it's funny. And you 're cute when you're exasperated." There was a momentary silence as Rika took a deep breath and massaged her temples. "So… can we make out now?" Rika opened her eyes to glare at him, which then morphed into a contemplative stare.

"You know what? Screw this, I deserve it. Yeah, let's make out," Rika said, somehow phasing through the table into Ryo's arms. They then proceeded to roll around on the floor while kissing passionately, and the author was happy because that was all she really cared about.

Meanwhile, Renamon stood in the corner and wondered when the fuck everything had gone wrong.

_fin._

_**Author's Note: **_Would you believe Ryuki is actually my favorite pairing? The amount of quality Ryuki stories is severely lacking, unfortunately. Rukato stole away a majority of the talent. Darn you, Rukato! -shakes fist at sky- xD

Nah, I'm kidding. Anyway, hope the YGOTAS references don't annoy anyone, they made me quite happy, haha. So, yeah. Pretty much crack, but I enjoyed this nonetheless. I have a strange sense of humor. :P

_Return of the Thief, _out.


End file.
